By now after reading our earlier articles, you would have known that in the year 2005 there were about 6,909 divorces & 22,992 marriages, thereby giving us an estimated 30% of Singapore marriages that ended up in divorce. We have advised you earlier on guarding your marriage against adultery by guarding your communication with opposite sex outside marriage. But does that guarantee that your marriage will not end up in divorce? No, we sincerely don't think so for we still need to solve whatever underlying unhappiness or discontent in any marriage.

What we have recommended was more of a defense barrier mechanism to guard your marriage against outside intruders who can & will break up your marriage if you are not careful in guarding your communication with opposite sex outside your marriage. As we have stated earlier that realistically not all marriages will be always happy & loving all the time, but more likely all marriages will have their ups and downs, misunderstandings, unhappiness, quarrels etc., we therefore should watch our outer defense against intruders who are prowling outside all the time waiting to pounce when our marriages are momentarily weak. For those couples whose marriages have been under attacked & experienced such a matter, they will understand this very clearly. For those who have not experienced such a matter & think we are talking nonsense, you have to take it with faith that we are speaking the truth for if you take it lightly, you & your spouse are digging your own grave spade by spade and it is only a matter of time that your marriage would face adultery problems.

How can we then solve unhappiness or discontent in a marriage to prevent it from breaking up? We need to start right from the beginning of the marriage. The starting point in solving unhappiness or discontent in a marriage is to have a totally open, honest & trusting communication within the marriage right from the beginning. This principle has to be wholeheartedly accepted by both parties & adhered to strictly from start of marriage. It cannot be imposed on one party with the party grudgingly accepting this principle without exactly understanding the meaning & following this important principle. This is because whoever the unbelieving party will eventually take no heed of such a principle & forget or ignore such a principle and will likely keep things from spouse after some time in a marriage which eventually become the starting point of sin of adultery.

By having a totally open, honest & trusting communication in a marriage, any unhappiness or discontent should be brought out to the open to be solved one way or the other and eventually. Spouse must know what is causing unhappiness or discontent in the marriage in order to solve that unhappiness or discontent and the only way of knowing unhappiness or discontent is that whoever the unhappy or discontented spouse must be open, honest and talk about it.  If the problem cannot be solved today, leave it to be solved another day, and if it really cannot be resolved, seek a qualified marriage counselor for assistance. (Note : For marriage counseling, we advise male to male & female to female counseling to prevent any future complications or anybody falling in love with counselor especially when currently there is great emotional upheaval). Without open & honest communication, it is pretty hard to read a person's mind and such unhappiness will be bottled up over time, which might explode into adultery if a third party appearing as a good friend comes into the picture.

There is no way anybody can solve any unhappiness or discontent in a marriage if you don't open your mouth to talk about it with your spouse to solve it. Do not assume that your spouse should know what is going on in your mind. God did not give the gift of reading one's mind to every human beings. The worse thing to do is to tell someone of the opposite sex outside marriage about your own marital problems instead of resolving it with your spouse. You are in fact opening the door very very wide for an intruder to come into your marriage & break it up. Therefore in such a case, you have yourself to blame & should take full responsibility for any failure in marriage and don't blame your spouse any one bit for it is you yourself who opens the door widely to crash your own marriage. Adultery usually happens after close & frequent communication with sharing of hearts with opposite sex outside marriage. Satan & his demons are very smart & packaged adultery so nicely in the form of good friend thing and true love that parties in sin of adultery do not realize that they are committing sin of adultery but view it is as forbidden love.

A lot of couples thought it is alright to hide some things from spouse in the name of personal space & privacy. But God has stated very clearly that both are one and as one there should not be any secrets with each other. Spouse have to tell each other everything & all the things. Just imagine how is your spouse going to make you happy or resolve any conflicts if you spouse is not even aware that you are unhappy. Most women fall into the traps of Satan & his demons by their lies & deceptions that when a man truly loves a woman, he should know everything & do everything to please her. These are lies & deceptions deposits into your thoughts to create future marital tensions & unhappiness in your marriage. Satan & his demons have worked through different medias to influence your mind & lay the groundwork for future destruction of your marriage. Don't fall to silly notions & devious schemes of Satan & his legions of demons. God very clearly did not say in the bible that He has given man the power of reading one's mind. We write this article to debunk such lovely theories of love by Satan & his demons and hope the rest will not fall into such traps and keep any unhappiness or discontent to yourself & not work it out with your spouse to solve any unhappiness or discontent.

Many cases of divorces can be traced back to the roots of unhappiness & discontent not brought out into the open to be solved amicably but kept over many years. We should not take this very likely even if you are sure that your spouse will not go the adultery route. It could also be the case of divorce without anybody else waiting for your spouse. Open, honest & trust communication is one key cornerstone of foundations of a happy marriage that we should not ignore or take it lightly. We need to communicate more with your own spouse. Spend time alone with your spouse without the kids and communicate more. Trust us, you will be amazed how much more your marriage has improved.